


Of dead romances and confusion

by moirails



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, alternate timeline vriska, an angry and heartbroken kanaya maryam, ghost vriska
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-12
Updated: 2013-09-13
Packaged: 2017-12-26 09:51:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/964554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moirails/pseuds/moirails
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It occurs to you, then, that you never cared to ask if she was the same Vriska in your timeline.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You meet her in a dream bubble when you are much too old for silly crushes and dumb heartbreaks. Even though you have moved on your heart clenches when you see this troll that you used to be infatuated with all curled up by herself in the middle of some kind of desert.

When she sees you she doesn't say anything, just squeezes her arms tighter around her legs and looks down to the floor, avoiding your gaze.

“Are you alright?”

She looks up at you finally and doesn't say anything, just lets out a heavy sigh. After a moment, she speaks up and catches you with surprise on how bored she sounds. “Great, another fussyfangs to deal with. You know, I didn't die to have to put up with some lousy fake moirails trying to cheer me up! Get the fuck out of here, fake Kanaya. I don't have time for your shit right now.”

You are absolutely stunned to hear those words come from her mouth, no apologies or even a “hey Kanaya! Wow am I glad to see you! I cant believe you came to see me after all the terrible things I've done to you!”, just a rude remark on how nosy you are. You swallow dryly before speaking to her again, “I'm absolutely sorry for interrupting your sad pitiful life. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be leaving-”

“Wait!” She gets up and tugs on your wrist, stopping you from leaving. You are quiet for a minute and she is too, and you both just stand there with her hand on your wrist. “Please don't go,” she breathes and your insides do a back flip because wow, you have never felt as bad for anyone as you do for this girl in front of you now. She looks absolutely heartbroken, and you know that she is terribly lonely and nobody gives her the time of day besides all the ghost versions of you.

“Why do you want me to stay if you just told me to leave?”

“Because you're the real Kanaya.” She looks up at you and you realize that you are finally taller than her after all these sweeps. It's weird and she must think so too, because she huffs and stands on her toes to try and gain some height. It doesn't work, so she stands normally again and sighs. “I know because all the other dumb fussyfangs usually try and stay after I tell them to go.” 

“How do you know I'm not just sick of trying to help people?”

“You seem mad. And I only fucked up with the real Kanaya.” She smiles and it doesn't reach her eyes, and you just want to pull her close and tell her its all right but you know you can't, so you just stay still and wait for her to continue. “Look, Kanaya, I'm so fucking sorry for everything, alright? I don't want to be rude to my friends, It just happens. I'm sorry for all the times that I yelled at you and whatever-”

You pull away from her grasp on your wrist angrily. “Do you really think that this is what that's about? That I'm really angry at you for being an insufferable bitch?”

She winces and you know that you hit a nerve but you continue on nonetheless. “I'm angry with you, Vriska, because you broke my heart!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” She snaps, and crosses her arms like she usually does when she's arguing.

It occurs to you, then, that you never cared to ask if she was the same Vriska in your timeline.


	2. Goodbyes

Of all the Vriskas that exist in the dream bubbles, you are by far the worst. You are the only one that has not made plans, not made relationships with other ghosts (or when you were alive, for that matter), and not done anything that can be considered important in your existence. Even the younger versions of you have accomplished more than you have.

You did, however, manage to kill everyone in your timeline.

As Kanaya stands in front of you you are reminded of the last time you saw this girl, the last time you ever heard from her. This is not your Kanaya, but she is equally as angry, so you figure that you are as much as a fuck up as the you in her timeline.

When she figures out that you are not her Vriska, she looks upset, and you wonder if your Kanaya would react the same way if she met another Vriska. You hope so. You miss her. You love her. She hates you.

“Please don't go”, you manage to choke out as she turns to leave once again. “I'm sorry that I broke your heart in another timeline, I'm so sorry-”

She keeps walking away. Your heart hurts. You really thought that this was her, but it isn't, and now even this version of her hates you, and you're tired, and you're head hurts, and you sort of wish you never existed to begin with because maybe that would be better than constantly being abandoned.

“I don't have time for fake Vriskas,” She throws your words back at you and you begin to cry for the first time in what seems like eternity.

You stand alone in a desert, much too young to be dead, and much too old to be sobbing because you feel lonely. You fall to your knees as you watch her go, much like your heart sinks to your stomach. You wish you were different, wish you were braver, wish you were friendlier, wish you were more important.

It's the last time you ever see another Kanaya, real or otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry

**Author's Note:**

> Just something I wrote real quick to try and get over my writer's block/rustiness after not writing for a while! I'm not sure if I'll continue this or not, it depends on if people like it. i'm sure I've made mistakes in this so feel free to critique me because like I said, I haven't written in a long time and i'm really rusty!!


End file.
